Help /cities extend
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Message from ayoub96 posted on 22-07-2013 at 10:39:12 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Please, could someone check my writing?
Thank you for your help.
Write about the advantages and disadvantages of living in a big city.
Since the industrial revolution, cities all over the world extend. The majority of people start to live in a big city that offer them numerous advantages. Today, many say that big cities have also disadvantages that can constitute a danger to the habitant and their entourage.
On the one hand, living in a big city involves many advantages. First, a big city afford a considerable number of public and private services in every district. A citizen does not affront any problem to find a school, a hospital or a club. In addition, big cities offer more work’s opportunities. Indeed, recent statistics show that unemployment rate approximates the ten percent in Moroccan’s cities.
On the other hand, big cities may have some disadvantages like pollution. Effectively, companies abound in cities. Every day, they reject big quantities of dirty gazes that pollute the air around us. That what constitute a big danger to human being and other specimens. Moreover, cities, in general, have a close atmosphere. With the continual demographic progress, the number of building increases. We start to build house in front of another without caring about nature and view. Therefore, when a person open her window, she finds herself head-on another window.
To sum up, big cities have advantages as they have disadvantages. They offer services and more work’s chance. However, their companies liberate polluted air and their blocks spoil the view.
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Edited by lucile83 on 22-07-2013 13:20
Message from ayoub96 posted on 22-07-2013 at 10:39:12 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Please, could someone check my writing?
Thank you for your help.
Write about the advantages and disadvantages of living in a big city.
Since the industrial revolution, cities all over the world extend. The majority of people start to live in a big city that offer them numerous advantages. Today, many say that big cities have also disadvantages that can constitute a danger to the habitant and their entourage.
On the one hand, living in a big city involves many advantages. First, a big city afford a considerable number of public and private services in every district. A citizen does not affront any problem to find a school, a hospital or a club. In addition, big cities offer more work’s opportunities. Indeed, recent statistics show that unemployment rate approximates the ten percent in Moroccan’s cities.
On the other hand, big cities may have some disadvantages like pollution. Effectively, companies abound in cities. Every day, they reject big quantities of dirty gazes that pollute the air around us. That what constitute a big danger to human being and other specimens. Moreover, cities, in general, have a close atmosphere. With the continual demographic progress, the number of building increases. We start to build house in front of another without caring about nature and view. Therefore, when a person open her window, she finds herself head-on another window.
To sum up, big cities have advantages as they have disadvantages. They offer services and more work’s chance. However, their companies liberate polluted air and their blocks spoil the view.
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Edited by lucile83 on 22-07-2013 13:20
Re: Help /cities extend from sakshiarjun15, posted on 23-07-2013 at 20:33:08 (D | E)
Hello ,
I'm not a professional but I think the length of your writing is perfect ,there are some tiny little grammatical mistakes. You've used a wide range of vocabulary , but overall I found it very good.
Hope this helps you.
Have a nice day.
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Edited by lucile83 on 23-07-2013 21:32
Re: Help /cities extend from ayoub96, posted on 24-07-2013 at 00:57:54 (D | E)
Re: Help /cities extend from sherry48, posted on 24-07-2013 at 14:35:47 (D | E)
Hello.
Here are a few suggestions. For the underlined words. consider another word. Keep an eye on verb tense if it dates back to the industrial revolution, and watch out for third person singular agreement.
Since the industrial revolution, cities all over the world extend. The majority of people start
to live in a big city that offer them numerous advantages. Today, many say that big cities have also disadvantages that can constitute a danger to the __habitant_ and their entourage.On the one hand, living in a big city involves many advantages. First, a big city afford_ (Possibly another word) a considerable number of public and private services in every district. A citizen does not affront any problem to find
(not the infinitive) a school, a hospital or a club. In addition, big cities offer more work’s opportunities. Indeed, recent statistics show that ___ unemployment rate approximates(I would use as an adverb, rather than a verb) the ten percent in Moroccan’s (Moroccan is an adjective.) cities.On the other hand, big cities may have some disadvantages like pollution. Effectively, companies abound in cities. Every day, they reject big quantities of dirty gazes that pollute the air around us. That what constitute__ a big danger to human being__ and other specimens (I think you mean species.). Moreover, cities, in general, have a close atmosphere. With the continual demographic progress, the number of building__ increases. We start to build __ house in front of another without caring about nature and (Since it is negative-without-a different conjunction.) view. Therefore, when a person open her window, she finds herself head-on another window.
To sum up, big cities have advantages as well as disadvantages. They offer services and more work’s chance. However, their companies liberate polluted air and their blocks spoil the view.
Sherry
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Edited by sherry48 on 24-07-2013 14:36
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