Correction/histoire
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Message de lisaaabnt posté le 23-10-2013 à 12:29:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Je suis en 1ère Littéraire et on m'a demandé d'écrire une histoire d'horreur pour mon cours de littérature anglaise. Ce serait superrrr gentil de votre part de m'aider en me disant si vous voyez des fautes et accessoirement ce que vous pensez de mon texte.
Merci pour votre aide.
It was a cold night, one of those nights that you breath, she was young about 15 years and used to spend each holiday in the countryside with his grandparents.
The decision to spend his vacations away from his friends Clearly did not come from her but from her parents. Probably a way to prevent making too many spreads, because even we can trust her, she loved to escape like any people his age
The second week, she could no more have to stay locked up with no engagement with the outside world,. So she waited patiently for the whole house is asleep and sneaked through the door behind the house leading directly to the garden. She walked shoes at his feet in the grass wet with dew still fresh.
She climbed the fence that separated his house and the neighbors to finally get in a scary stalemate illuminated by the orange streetlights.
She apparently had no fear of what might happen to her alone in the street. She knew the neighborhood was home of older persons and theerfore unsuspecting people who can cross the street at the same time as her:
"I'm old enough to take the road alone, after all I have 15 years. Why nobody understands that I am a girl who can take charge of her own?"
I walked the streets of the neighborhood without hearing any noise, I could breathe, think about something other than the problems I should deal way back home, family, school (etc)
At the end of the street that seemed endless to me, however I thought I saw a girl, about a dozen. She waved at me to join, I did a little skeptical. I kept asking myself what a young girl was out at this time. I walked to ask him my reflection made her escape.
A strange encounter ..
I back on the road, fatigue was beginning to be felt, but I kept walking.I arrived at a crossroads that left me 3 choices of path, I had the feeling of a choice that could change my life.
By forcing on my view, I noticed this girl down the road of . No wait .. at the end of three ways! I could not believe my eyesI started to turn back to go home, this comedy was too long. But I heard footsteps behind me, the steps approaching more.
The beating of my heart quickened, my breath became short and I walked more quickly.
The footsteps grew loud I did not hear it, but WHO could well be this girl who wanted to hurt me. I could either continue on my way or be brave turning around to put a face to this nightmare behind me.
I did not have time to make a choice, a cold and rough hand, as if death came over me, grabbed my arm.
She dug her nails into my skin, I wanted to scream but I could not open my mouth because I was petrified by fear.
I felt leave .. in another world .. I slowly closed my eyes without really closing them .. I thought I was asleep but not .. I was ... waking up ..
* PHEW * long sigh followed, it just was nightmare. My grandmother was at my bedside telling me that she had heard me scream in my sleep. So she had prefer stay with me.
"Do not worry grandma, it just was a bad dream!"
"i am reassured" said the grandmother, "a second, how did you do it yourself?"
I did not see what she meant until I looked at my arm, the arm that the girl had caught me. There was a nail brand ..
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-10-2013 18:13
Message de lisaaabnt posté le 23-10-2013 à 12:29:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Je suis en 1ère Littéraire et on m'a demandé d'écrire une histoire d'horreur pour mon cours de littérature anglaise. Ce serait superrrr gentil de votre part de m'aider en me disant si vous voyez des fautes et accessoirement ce que vous pensez de mon texte.
Merci pour votre aide.
It was a cold night, one of those nights that you breath, she was young about 15 years and used to spend each holiday in the countryside with his grandparents.
The decision to spend his vacations away from his friends Clearly did not come from her but from her parents. Probably a way to prevent making too many spreads, because even we can trust her, she loved to escape like any people his age
The second week, she could no more have to stay locked up with no engagement with the outside world,. So she waited patiently for the whole house is asleep and sneaked through the door behind the house leading directly to the garden. She walked shoes at his feet in the grass wet with dew still fresh.
She climbed the fence that separated his house and the neighbors to finally get in a scary stalemate illuminated by the orange streetlights.
She apparently had no fear of what might happen to her alone in the street. She knew the neighborhood was home of older persons and theerfore unsuspecting people who can cross the street at the same time as her:
"I'm old enough to take the road alone, after all I have 15 years. Why nobody understands that I am a girl who can take charge of her own?"
I walked the streets of the neighborhood without hearing any noise, I could breathe, think about something other than the problems I should deal way back home, family, school (etc)
At the end of the street that seemed endless to me, however I thought I saw a girl, about a dozen. She waved at me to join, I did a little skeptical. I kept asking myself what a young girl was out at this time. I walked to ask him my reflection made her escape.
A strange encounter ..
I back on the road, fatigue was beginning to be felt, but I kept walking.I arrived at a crossroads that left me 3 choices of path, I had the feeling of a choice that could change my life.
By forcing on my view, I noticed this girl down the road of . No wait .. at the end of three ways! I could not believe my eyesI started to turn back to go home, this comedy was too long. But I heard footsteps behind me, the steps approaching more.
The beating of my heart quickened, my breath became short and I walked more quickly.
The footsteps grew loud I did not hear it, but WHO could well be this girl who wanted to hurt me. I could either continue on my way or be brave turning around to put a face to this nightmare behind me.
I did not have time to make a choice, a cold and rough hand, as if death came over me, grabbed my arm.
She dug her nails into my skin, I wanted to scream but I could not open my mouth because I was petrified by fear.
I felt leave .. in another world .. I slowly closed my eyes without really closing them .. I thought I was asleep but not .. I was ... waking up ..
* PHEW * long sigh followed, it just was nightmare. My grandmother was at my bedside telling me that she had heard me scream in my sleep. So she had prefer stay with me.
"Do not worry grandma, it just was a bad dream!"
"i am reassured" said the grandmother, "a second, how did you do it yourself?"
I did not see what she meant until I looked at my arm, the arm that the girl had caught me. There was a nail brand ..
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-10-2013 18:13
Réponse: Correction/histoire de lucile83, postée le 24-10-2013 à 19:00:22 (S | E)
up
Réponse: Correction/histoire de lisaaabnt, postée le 25-10-2013 à 15:21:53 (S | E)
Up ? que cela signifie-t-il ici s'il vous plaît ?
Réponse: Correction/histoire de lucile83, postée le 25-10-2013 à 16:35:06 (S | E)
Up = sujet remonté
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