Correction/Tallinn
Forum > English only || BottomCorrection/Tallinn
Message from nothofagus posted on 16-02-2018 at 17:56:55 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Please can you check my grammar and vocabulary?
Thanks for any reply.
Tallinn the quiet city
While sitting down on a bench in a park. Contemplating Tallinn and their nonchalant inhabitants. They are not in a hurry but they don't smile. Perhaps, they are benevolent and hearty …Going to their work or to the shops. The children go out their school running and gathering in a group in the corner of the streets with their mobile phone around a plot. Perhaps they would like to prepare an ambush. On a bench beside, others persons profited by the last sun's rays of the summer. Soon the autumn's wind will come from the Baltic sea and it will blow its cold breath . It 's the time to return to the hotel by crossing the city. The old town is surrounded of walls and fortificated towers and walking in the cobbled streets, the faded blue, yellow and white facades of houses are looking at you and smiling to you above your head. Walking on the streets, the time passes slowly, quietly by taking time past and step by step the hotel is here waiting for guests. It remains unchanged.
Coming back in the hotel and the bedroom, smelling of moisture and antique furnitures, there is a peace haven. Then the mind is appeased, a friendly and sweet home come to you. By drinking a strong coffee and staring a worker woman washing the table and tidying up the dishes in the kitchen. She has a close-mouthed face but she is not really nasty.
After, a cozy and deeply sleep, deciding to go very far, promptly the black strong coffee, chocolate and bread are welcome before a long day in the botanical garden, the pleasant open air museum and its wooden old houses with thatch roofs, old mills in wood or before the visite of the Kadriorg's castle these fontains and its large park. On the shore of the sea watching towards the open sea and the skyline, some black shadows of islands or perhaps something else seem so far and wondering: « Is the sea an infinity? » Also to go to Helsinki and to go on a ferry become a strong desire. The present moment is here at Tallinn. Walking fastly on the Pirita Promenade, the sun is shining, the sea is grey and the birds are squawking on their rocks. In a supermarket by strolling, all the shops are opening and excepted the sport shop and the others shops, many food is cheap there. Particulary one of them is very attractive and pleasant. The Natura Siberica shop sells beauty natural products, bringing positive changes in lives of native people in Siberia. The beauty natural products are made with plants of Siberia picked by tribes . Without a doubt, I would like to stay at Tallinn more and forever.... I don't like the habits. I only shall want to find a little security in my life and I found it at Tallinn. Maybe because I haven't something to do or maybe I have no constraint and obligations here. Also I am a foreigner and nobody knows me, so I am a foreigner in this country and it frees me. The weather is very sad … Another shore of the sea, another day . Looking for a fisher market the walls are destroyed and fall in the sea because castles made of sand finally fall in the sea. The fish was returned to the salt water and they will never come back to the shore and the fisher will never find a fish any more. The fisher market was deserted, empty . Far away, the prison didn't wait for a poor innocent or a bad guy . It was closed without prisoner and to watch the suffering isn't interesting.
Fortunately, after walking of some footsteps, some children play in a small garden and a lightness feeling comes. Looking at them, a smile draws on the lips and reminds how we were artless ourself. Become a statue and look at them for all eternity ?
So many people in the naval museum, it isn't tempting to visit it, also the museum shop isn't interesting and mostly expensive.
In a deposite of old objects some old women sell fresh vegetables. They looked like very tired and they had a wrinkled face. How long are they waiting for the customers? They are behind their stand and they are drinking coffee or tea. They are talking together . Perhaps they are Russian, perhaps they are Estonian, perhaps they are poor, perhaps they are happy...
A morning, when the pur sky dotted with stars, it's time to leave towards others streets, others people, others sensations, others feelings to the other side of the sea. Waiting for me Helsinki
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 16-02-2018 19:08
Message from nothofagus posted on 16-02-2018 at 17:56:55 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Please can you check my grammar and vocabulary?
Thanks for any reply.
Tallinn the quiet city
While sitting down on a bench in a park. Contemplating Tallinn and their nonchalant inhabitants. They are not in a hurry but they don't smile. Perhaps, they are benevolent and hearty …Going to their work or to the shops. The children go out their school running and gathering in a group in the corner of the streets with their mobile phone around a plot. Perhaps they would like to prepare an ambush. On a bench beside, others persons profited by the last sun's rays of the summer. Soon the autumn's wind will come from the Baltic sea and it will blow its cold breath . It 's the time to return to the hotel by crossing the city. The old town is surrounded of walls and fortificated towers and walking in the cobbled streets, the faded blue, yellow and white facades of houses are looking at you and smiling to you above your head. Walking on the streets, the time passes slowly, quietly by taking time past and step by step the hotel is here waiting for guests. It remains unchanged.
Coming back in the hotel and the bedroom, smelling of moisture and antique furnitures, there is a peace haven. Then the mind is appeased, a friendly and sweet home come to you. By drinking a strong coffee and staring a worker woman washing the table and tidying up the dishes in the kitchen. She has a close-mouthed face but she is not really nasty.
After, a cozy and deeply sleep, deciding to go very far, promptly the black strong coffee, chocolate and bread are welcome before a long day in the botanical garden, the pleasant open air museum and its wooden old houses with thatch roofs, old mills in wood or before the visite of the Kadriorg's castle these fontains and its large park. On the shore of the sea watching towards the open sea and the skyline, some black shadows of islands or perhaps something else seem so far and wondering: « Is the sea an infinity? » Also to go to Helsinki and to go on a ferry become a strong desire. The present moment is here at Tallinn. Walking fastly on the Pirita Promenade, the sun is shining, the sea is grey and the birds are squawking on their rocks. In a supermarket by strolling, all the shops are opening and excepted the sport shop and the others shops, many food is cheap there. Particulary one of them is very attractive and pleasant. The Natura Siberica shop sells beauty natural products, bringing positive changes in lives of native people in Siberia. The beauty natural products are made with plants of Siberia picked by tribes . Without a doubt, I would like to stay at Tallinn more and forever.... I don't like the habits. I only shall want to find a little security in my life and I found it at Tallinn. Maybe because I haven't something to do or maybe I have no constraint and obligations here. Also I am a foreigner and nobody knows me, so I am a foreigner in this country and it frees me. The weather is very sad … Another shore of the sea, another day . Looking for a fisher market the walls are destroyed and fall in the sea because castles made of sand finally fall in the sea. The fish was returned to the salt water and they will never come back to the shore and the fisher will never find a fish any more. The fisher market was deserted, empty . Far away, the prison didn't wait for a poor innocent or a bad guy . It was closed without prisoner and to watch the suffering isn't interesting.
Fortunately, after walking of some footsteps, some children play in a small garden and a lightness feeling comes. Looking at them, a smile draws on the lips and reminds how we were artless ourself. Become a statue and look at them for all eternity ?
So many people in the naval museum, it isn't tempting to visit it, also the museum shop isn't interesting and mostly expensive.
In a deposite of old objects some old women sell fresh vegetables. They looked like very tired and they had a wrinkled face. How long are they waiting for the customers? They are behind their stand and they are drinking coffee or tea. They are talking together . Perhaps they are Russian, perhaps they are Estonian, perhaps they are poor, perhaps they are happy...
A morning, when the pur sky dotted with stars, it's time to leave towards others streets, others people, others sensations, others feelings to the other side of the sea. Waiting for me Helsinki
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 16-02-2018 19:08
Re: Correction/Tallinn from here4u, posted on 16-02-2018 at 18:57:12 (D | E)
Hello!
Tallinn the quiet city
While sitting down on a bench in a park.(unfinished sentence...) Contemplating Tallinn and their nonchalant inhabitants. They are not in a hurry but they don't smile(the -ing form is necessary). Perhaps, they are benevolent and hearty …Going to their work or to the shops (This isn't a complete sentence either!) The children go: -ing form out their of school running and gathering in a group in the
corner of the streets with their mobile phoneS around a plot. Perhaps they would like to prepare an ambush. On a bench beside, others persons profited by the last sun's rays of the summer. Soon the autumn's wind will come from the Baltic sea and it will blow its cold breath . It 's the time to return to the hotel, by crossing the city. The old town is surrounded of walls and fortificated towers and Where are the subject and verb? walking in the cobbled streets, (the faded blue, yellow and white facades of houses) Is this the subject? ... how can they be "walking"?) are looking at you and smiling to you above your head. Walking on the streets, the time passes slowly, quietly by taking time past and step by step the hotel is here waiting for guests. It remains unchanged. Coming back in the hotel and the bedroom, smelling of moisture and antique furnitures, there is a peace haven(Where's the subject?). Then the mind is appeased, a friendly and sweet home come to you. By drinking a strong coffee and staring XX a worker woman washing the table and tidying up the dishes in the kitchen??Here, you need the end of the sentence... She has a close-mouthed face but she is not really nasty.
After, a cozy and deeply sleep, deciding to go very far, promptly the black strong coffee, chocolate and bread are welcome before a long day in the botanical garden, the pleasant open air museum and its wooden old houses with thatchED roofs, old mills in wood or before the visite of the Kadriorg's castle these fontains and its large park. (All these parts of sentences should be linked. As you wrote them, they can't produce the effect you must have wanted them to convey) On the shore of the sea watching towards the open sea and the skyline, some black shadows of islands or perhaps something else seem so far and wondering: « Is the sea an infinity? » Also to go to Helsinki and to go on a ferry become a strong desire.(change the construction) The present moment is here at
Tallinn. Walking fastly on the Pirita Promenade, the sun is shining, the sea is grey and the birds are squawking on their rocks. In a supermarket(Shops in a supermarket? Do you mean "a Mall"?) by strolling, all the shops are opening and excepted the sport shop and the others shops, many food is cheap there. Particulary one of them ? (one what?)is very attractive and pleasant. The Natura Siberica shop sells beauty natural products, bringing positive changes in XXX lives of native people in Siberia. The beauty natural products are made with XXX plants of Siberia picked by tribes . Without a doubt, I would like to stay at Tallinn morelonger? and forever.... I don't like the habits. I only shall want to find a little security in my life and I foundpresent perfect nécessaire!) it at Tallinn. Maybe because I haven't something to do or maybe I have no constraint and obligations here. Also I am a foreigner and nobody knows me, so I am a foreigner in this country and it frees me. The weather is very sad … Another shore of the sea, another day . Looking for a fisher market the walls are destroyed and fall in the sea because castles made of sand finally fall in the sea. The fish was returned to the salt water and they will never come back to the shore and the fisher will never find a fish any more. The fisher market was deserted, empty . Far away, the prison didn't wait forme en -ing)for a poor innocent or a bad guy . It was closed without X XXXXXXprisoner and to watch the suffering isn't interesting.Fortunately, after walking of some footsteps, some children play -ing form, but be careful, we want the subjects of the verbshere...) in a small garden and a lightness feeling comeswrong word order + verb in ing!). Looking at them, a smile draws on the lips and reminds Necessary complementshow we were artless ourself. Become
a statue and look at them for all eternity ? (Not clear!)So many people in the naval museum, it isn't tempting to visit it, also the museum shop isn't interesting and mostly expensive. (It's a strange "sentence"...)
In a deposite of old objects, some old women sell (ing!)fresh vegetables. They looked like very tired ("look like"= resemble+ form in ing!)and they had a wrinkled faceS. How long are they(tense) waiting for the customers? They are behind their standS and they are drinking coffee or tea. They are talking together . Perhaps they are Russian, perhaps they are Estonian, perhaps they are poor, perhaps they are happy...
A morning,
when the purE sky VERBE? dotted with stars, it's time to leave towards others streets, others people, others sensations, others feelings to the other side of the sea. ("Other" placed before a noun in the plural is an indefinite adjective and cannot take an -S) Waiting for me Helsinki Be careful! a sentence must have a subject, a verb, and one or several complement(s)!
Forum > English only
