Let's Suggest/42

Let's Suggest/42
Message de here4u posté le 15-07-2023 à 20:54:56 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear writers!

Another new topic for you to write about. I hope many will participate enthusiastically, and that you'll do it as well as ever...

You mustn't be afraid of making mistakes... We LOVE mistakes, because they give us an opportunity to explain and correct!

Here is today's topic:"In a world of violence, suffering and disagreement, do the Olympic Games serve a purpose?" 140 to 160 words.

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible …
2. Le plus tôt possible, cette première expression sera publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN sera libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), à ce moment là, comme il se doit.) Si un autre membre a déjà indiqué des erreurs en bleu, VOUS DEVEZ repartir de cette correction et la confirmer ou la corriger... Un seul essai à la fois sera publié pour corriger… Vous pourrez ensuite donner vos suggestions de correction (en vert!)

IMPORTANT! Pour me faciliter le transfert des corrections successives de vos travaux sur le site, pourriez vous m'indiquer par un "(" le mot ou segment de phrase qui devrait être modifié, s'il vous plaît ?
ie. (I'm repeating for years... ou (was not only to want something,... Pourquoi ? Simplement parce que le site ne "garde" pas les indications de couleurs ou de soulignement etc. dès que l'on copie... Donc, je prends vos travaux, je les corrige au fur et à mesure avec les codes "bleu" ou "souligné" ou "vert", mais au moment où je vous poste la correction, je perds tout mon travail... et dois tout refaire mot à mot en direct avec deux fenêtres ou même deux écrans pour un travail fastidieux de copie point par point! Merci de votre aide !
Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet


( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez : ou ou **
Do your best, I trust You!
Correction en ligne le samedi 29 juillet 2023.
J'attends vos envois en mp et publierai le premier dès que possible.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU and with us!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de here4u, postée le 19-07-2023 à 12:14:52 (S | E)
Hello dears,


Here is EXPRESSION N°1: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy.


Of course the Olympics must continue... In their mind, the Olympics represent the desire to unite all the people who like and practice a sport and want to surpass them. Sport is a way of fighting in a peaceful way. Certains of you will say that it is really impossible to compete friendly next of a sportman who is of an ennemy country. The politics cannot be forgotten in sport even. This is why some athletes will not invited to come and compete even if they are pacifist. The authorities may decide to accept some but we don"t know the criteria really.
I am a sportsfan, I love all sports and I think it is not normal to exclu people who may be as pacifist as other. I think we must honour the winner, and not his country. There shouln't be flags, but just the symbolic rings to honour winners. It would be better. (158 words)

for your help. here are fans to enable you to have some air to breathe while working!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de magie8, postée le 20-07-2023 à 11:19:44 (S | E)
Hello Voici mes indications
TEXTE 1
Of course the Olympics must continue... In their mind, the Olympics represent the desire to unite all the people who like and practice a sport and want to surpass them. Sport is a way of fighting in a peaceful way. Certains of you will say that it is really impossible to compete friendly next of a sportman who is of an ennemy country. The politics cannot be forgotten in sport even. This is why some athletes will not invited to come and compete even if they are pacifist. The authorities may decide to accept some but we don"t know the criteria really.
I am a sportsfan, I love all sports and I think it is not normal to exclu people who may be as pacifist as other. I think we must honour the winner, and not his country. There shouln't be flags, but just the symbolic rings to honour winners. It would be better. (158 words)

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de here4u, postée le 20-07-2023 à 12:05:31 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Here are my indications after Magie's. a lot, Magie.

EXPRESSION N°1: indications.

Of course the Olympics must continue... In their mind, the Olympics represent the desire to unite all the people who like and practice a sport and want to surpass them. Sport is a way of fighting in a peaceful way. Certains of you will say that it is really impossible to compete friendly next of a sportman who is of an ennemy country. The politics cannot be forgotten in sport even. This is why some athletes will not invited to come and compete even if they are pacifist. The authorities may decide to accept some but we don"t know the criteria really.
I am a sportsfan, I love all sports and I think it is not normal to exclu people who may be as pacifist as other. I think we must honour the winner, and not his country. There shouln't be flags, but just the symbolic rings to honour winners. It would be better. (158 words)

Green allowed tomorrow.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de magie8, postée le 21-07-2023 à 12:02:57 (S | E)
Hello Mes suggestions de correction

EXPRESSION N°1: indications.

Of course the Olympics must continue... The Olympics spirit is the desire to unite all the people who like and (do sport and want to surpass ( themselves. Sport is a way of fighting in a peaceful way. ( Some of you will say that it is really impossible to compete friendly ( near a sportman who ( could be an enemy of our Country.( Politics cannot be forgotten (even in sport. This is why some athletes ( won't be invited to come and compete even if they are ( pacific. The authorities may decide to accept some but we dont know what the real selection criteria are.
I am a (sports fan, I love all sports and I think it is not normal to( exclude people who may be as (peaceful as others. I think we must honour the winner, but not his homeland. There shouln't be any (national flags,
but just the symbolic rings to honour winners. It would be better. (158 words)

Avec peu de temps, j' ai fait ce que je pouvais

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de here4u, postée le 23-07-2023 à 23:47:08 (S | E)
Hello dears, Hello dear Magie,

a lot for your time and your work!

EXPRESSION N°2: please indicate possible mistakes and underline what you think is clumsy.

I am against Olympics. If you are realist, you realize that all this is a lost of time and a lot of money for not much. The huge demonstrations for the opening and the end of the games, the gigantic sum of money spend for years by the country which organise and money for security - whose is never absolute and total - all this is money stupidly spend.
You will be shocking, but I have no respect for this competitions and all the nuisances they bring. Why must the lives of parisians be disturbed by the competitions as most the people don't care really. There are most intelligent manners of spend our money and not throw it way like this. I'm glad I am not a parisian... 137 mots.

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de magie8, postée le 24-07-2023 à 12:57:13 (S | E)
mes signalisations de correction qu' il me semble être possibles
texte 2
HELLO
I am against Olympics. If you are realist, you realize that all (this is a lost of time and a lot of money for not much. The huge demonstrations for the opening and the end of the games, the gigantic sum of money (spend for years by the country(which( organise and money for security - (whose is never absolute and total - all this is money stupidly spend.
You will be (shocking, but I have no respect for( this competitions and all the nuisances they bring. Why (must the lives of parisians be disturbed by the competitions as most (the people don't care really. There are most intelligent ( manners ( of spend our money and not throw it way like this. I'm glad I am not a ( parisian... 137 mots

Je finirais les corrections de celui- ci mais je n' en ferais pas un 3e je n' en peux plus de ces couleurs , les espaces ,la ponctuation, les majuscules etc.... ces ordinateurs dont je ne sais pas me servir qui me prennent un temps fou et me rendent folle.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-07-2023 14:05
Bugs réparés mais je ne sais pas si j'ai tout traité...

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de here4u, postée le 25-07-2023 à 17:03:54 (S | E)
pour la réparation des bugs, Lucile !

Magie, que puis-je faire pour te rendre la tâche moins difficile et rébarbative ?


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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-07-2023 20:38
De rien here4u !

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de here4u, postée le 25-07-2023 à 17:11:01 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°2: final indications. GREEN allowed.


I am against Olympics. If you are realist, you realize that all (this is a lost of time and a lot of money for not much. The huge demonstrations for the opening and the end of the games, the gigantic sum of money (spend for years by the country(which( organise and money for security - (whose is never absolute and total - all this is money stupidly spend.
You will be (shocking, but I have no respect for( this competitions and all the nuisances they bring. Why (must the lives of parisians be disturbed by the competitions as most (the people don't care really. There are most intelligent ( manners ( of spend our money and not throw it way like this. I'm glad I am not a ( parisian... 137 mots

for your help!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de magie8, postée le 26-07-2023 à 07:20:46 (S | E)
hello


I am against Olympics. If you are (RELISTIC, you realiSe tHAT all ( is a WASTE of time and a lot of money SPENT ON LITTLE THINGS. The huge demonstrations for the opening and the end of the games, the UNBELIEVEBABLE AMOUNT of money (spenT for years by the HOST COUNTRY and money for security - (THAT is never absolute and total - all thAT money IS stupidly spenT.
You will be (shockED, but I have no respect for( this KIND OF COMPETITION and all the nuisances they bring. Why (must the lives of Parisians be disturbed by the competitions ESPECIALLY SINCE most people don't REALLY care . There are SMARTER WAY ( TO spend our money RATHER THAN throw it Away like thAT. I'm glad I am not a ( Parisian... 137 mots
p!
Dear HERE4U Ne m' en veux pas si j' ai remplacé les couleurs par des majuscules. Au moins elles ne disparaitront pas à la relecture et pour moi c'etait plus rapide car ma famille m'attend pour aller voir les animaux dans leur réserve naturelle .
Merci à toi et Lucile pour votre aide.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de here4u, postée le 29-07-2023 à 23:42:48 (S | E)
Hello dears,

Ce soir, je ne m'adresse directement qu'à magie, qui a beaucoup travaillé... et souhaite d'excellentes vacances sans Internet digne de ce nom à Amélie et à tous les autres, travailleurs et/ ou lecteurs.. ☀️☀️☀️

EXPRESSION N°1: indications.

Of course the Olympics(1) must continue... The Olympics spirit is the desire to unite all the people who like and do/ practise sportS and want to surpass themselves. Sport is a way of fighting in a peaceful way. Some of you will say that it is really impossible to compete friendly/ in a friendly way near a sportSman who could be an enemy of our Country. Politics (2) cannot be forgotten even in sportS. This is why some athletes won't be invited to come and compete even if they are pacific/ pacifists(3).The authorities may decide to accept some but we dont know what the real selection criteria are.
I am a sports fan, I love all sports and I think it is not normal to exclude people who may be as peaceful as others. I think we must honour the winnerS, but not his homeland. There shouln't be any (national flags, but just the symbolic rings to honour winners. It would be better. (158 words)

Lorsque les indications et suggestions sont limitées, la "correction" ne peut pas être aussi complexe...
(1): the Olympics: the Olympic Games. (le deuxième est un adjectif et doit donc rester invariable.)
à Sports (en général) et à sportsman/ sportsmen: un sportif/ des sportifs.
(2) "Politics": la politique
(3) "pacific": adjectif placé devant un nom; "pacifists": nom au pluriel.
un critère: a criterion/ several criteria.
Il y a plusieurs vainqueurs pour chaque compétition et il faut tous les honorer. Quelques petites corrections complémentaires, peut-être ?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

EXPRESSION N°2: suggestions

I am against Olympics. If you are (RELISTIC, you realiSe tHAT all this is a WASTE of time and a lot of money SPENT ON LITTLE THINGS. The huge demonstrations for the opening and the end of the games, the UNBELIEVEBABLE AMOUNT of money (spenT for years by the HOST COUNTRY and money for security - (THAT is never absolute and total - all thAT money IS stupidly spenT.
You will be (shockED, but I have no respect for this KIND OF COMPETITION and all the nuisances they bring. Why (must the lives of Parisians be disturbed by the competitions ESPECIALLY SINCE most people don't REALLY care . There are SMARTER WAY ( TO spend our money RATHER THAN throw it Away like thAT. I'm glad I am not a Parisian... 137 mots

De très bonnes suggestions. Bravo Magie ! ( J'aurais bien aimé quelques remarques sur le fond...)

Un grand Magie et Bravo!

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de magie8, postée le 30-07-2023 à 10:09:57 (S | E)
HELLO follow up j ai corrigé les fautes de frappe

I am against Olympics. If you are (REALISTIC, you realiSe tHAT all this is a WASTE of time and a lot of money SPENT ON LITTLE THINGS. The huge demonstrations for the opening and the end of the games, the UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT of money (spenT for years by the HOST COUNTRY and money for security - (THAT is never absolute and total - all thAT money IS stupidly spenT.
You will be (shockED, but I have no respect for this KIND OF COMPETITION and all the nuisances they bring. Why (must the lives of Parisians be disturbed by the competitions ESPECIALLY SINCE most people don't REALLY care . There are SMARTER (ways ( TO spend our money RATHER THAN throw it Away like thAT. I'm glad I am not a Parisian... 137 mots

Quant à mes commentaires sur le fond :¨L' auteur est très courageux, sa pensée en anglais est bien exprimée; A mon avis un peu trop négatif pour un écrit.
Les jeux Olympiques rapportent aussi beaucoup d'argent, font travailler beaucoup de gens et font évoluer les technologies. On peut être pour ou contre ou complétement indifférent.
Rien n'est jamais tout noir ni tout blanc.

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Réponse : Let's Suggest/42 de here4u, postée le 30-07-2023 à 21:09:09 (S | E)
Hello dears,
Voilà les suggestions qui suivent le Follow Up Work.

- "money SPENT ON LITTLE THINGS": I'd say "unimportant things".../ "uninteresting things"/
- "The huge demonstrations for the opening and the end of the Games," : "demonstration" est plutôt une "manifestation".
(to demonstrate: manifester => a demonstrator) => "the huge shows/ events/ parades..."


De bonnes corrections ( magie). Une assez bonne EXPRESSION avec des idées fermement énoncées ("I have no respect for this KIND OF COMPETITIONS") mais qui auraient gagné à être justifiées ou expliquées.
pour ce bon travail.

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