Correction /America
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Message de lili97kat posté le 26-01-2014 à 11:21:52 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger mon texte, s'il vous plaît? (Toujours sur l'Amérique).
Merci pour vos réponses.
America is a country where people looks like free, but America is too a country of contrasts and paradoxes.
On the one hand, millions of immigrants have emigrated to the USA to earn their share of the American dream. The USA is still considered the land of milk and honey, a symbol of economic prosperity, the promised land for the poor and destitute. They think that poverty isn't a fate, they can change their destiny
On the other hand, for coming in America, people have to fight. Immigrants who has decided to leave her hometown for settle in the USA have to start from scratch and risk their life for cross the border illegaly at night for fear of being caught by border petrol, for enter in the States. Moreover, for example, some people have to get through by Ellis Island, a land where immigrants are screen out for check if they not bring disease or illiteracy : they have to do examined by doctors and they are treated like animals. For integrate into American society, they have to work hard for climb the rungs of the social ladder.
All the same, America is still a magnet for poor immigrants, they want go from rags to riches.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-01-2014 11:43
Message de lili97kat posté le 26-01-2014 à 11:21:52 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Pourriez-vous m'aider à corriger mon texte, s'il vous plaît? (Toujours sur l'Amérique).
Merci pour vos réponses.
America is a country where people looks like free, but America is too a country of contrasts and paradoxes.
On the one hand, millions of immigrants have emigrated to the USA to earn their share of the American dream. The USA is still considered the land of milk and honey, a symbol of economic prosperity, the promised land for the poor and destitute. They think that poverty isn't a fate, they can change their destiny
On the other hand, for coming in America, people have to fight. Immigrants who has decided to leave her hometown for settle in the USA have to start from scratch and risk their life for cross the border illegaly at night for fear of being caught by border petrol, for enter in the States. Moreover, for example, some people have to get through by Ellis Island, a land where immigrants are screen out for check if they not bring disease or illiteracy : they have to do examined by doctors and they are treated like animals. For integrate into American society, they have to work hard for climb the rungs of the social ladder.
All the same, America is still a magnet for poor immigrants, they want go from rags to riches.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-01-2014 11:43
Réponse: Correction /America de laure95, postée le 26-01-2014 à 17:27:54 (S | E)
bonsoir,
Voici des points à reprendre:
America is a country where people looks like (lOOK LIKE = ressembler) free, but America is too a country of contrasts and paradoxes.
On the one hand, millions of immigrants have emigrated to the USA to earn their share (mal dit?) of the American dream. The USA is still considered (as)the land of milk and honey, a symbol of economic prosperity, the promised land for the poor and destitute. They think that poverty isn't a fate, they can change their destiny
On the other hand, for coming in (pour: TO + INF) America, people have to fight. (the) Immigrants who has (conjugaison) decided to leave her (pas le bon possessif) hometown for (pour: FOR + NOM, TO + VERBE) settle in the USA have to start from scratch and risk their life (à mettre au pluriel) for cross the border illegaly at night for fear of being caught by border petrol, for enter in the States (phrase trop longue). Moreover, for example, some people have to get through
All the same, America is still a magnet for poor immigrants, they want go from rags to riches (orthographe).
Réponse: Correction /America de lili97kat, postée le 26-01-2014 à 18:49:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Merci d'avoir répondu.
America is a country where people seems free, but America is too a country of contrasts and paradoxes.
On the one hand, millions of immigrants have emigrated to the USA for live their American dream. The USA is still considered as the land of milk and honey, a symbol of economic prosperity, the promised land for the poor and destitute. They think that poverty isn't a fate, they can change their destiny
On the other hand, to come in America, people have to fight. The immigrants who have decided to leave their hometown to settle in the USA have to start from scratch. They have to risk their lives too, to cross the border illegaly at night for fear of being caught by border petrol, to enter in the States (phrase trop longue). Moreover, for example, some people have to get through Ellis Island, a land where immigrants are screen out for check if they don't bring disease or illiteracy : they have to be examined by doctors and they are treated like animals. To integrate into the American society, they have to work hard for climb the rungs of the social ladder.
All the same, America is still a magnet for poor immigrants, they want go from rags to riches
.Le To+verbe, il est bien rentré!
Réponse: Correction /America de mimioye, postée le 27-01-2014 à 12:20:17 (S | E)
Apres la correction
seem et pas seems
also et pas too (too se placerait à la fin de la phrase)
to live et pas for live
to come to et pas to come in
to enter the States et pas to enter in the States
are screened out (voix passive ) et pas screen out
to check et pas for check
to climb et pas for climb
nevertheless et pas all the same
they want to go et pas they want go
bye
Réponse: Correction /America de bluestar, postée le 27-01-2014 à 16:57:45 (S | E)
Hello..
In addition to the previous corrections:
"Illegally" has four ls, not 3..
Border patrol not border petrol,...
Réponse: Correction /America de lili97kat, postée le 29-01-2014 à 18:05:56 (S | E)
D'accord. Merci pour vos aides.
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