Correction/extrait polar
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Message de lila1234 posté le 23-12-2014 à 16:19:17 (S | E | F)
Hello,
J'aurrais besoin de votre aide pour corriger cet extrait de texte, un peu dans le style d'un polar...
Comme mon texte est loin d'être du Agatha Christie
pourriez-vous me donner vos appréciation sur le texte et des remarques sur les temps...
Merci d'avance.
I was still tying me up in this room and I was still waiting. It was horrible. Suddenly a man entered in the room. He was quiet tall and he was wearing dark clothes. I tryed to do not move. I was breathness. He was moving towards me when his cellphone rang. He picked up the phone. His deep voice was resounding in the room. I turned pale when I heard him day : "Yes sir, this will be done at midnight." I understood immediately what did it mean. At midnight, I would not be in this world any more. He put his phone on his pocket and left the room with a smile on his face.
[...] Peter thought about it during all morning when the cough medicine and the knife that Jenny had let him came to his mind. He understood that it was clues and Jenny knew her fate. What remains for him to do was find how exploit this clues.
[...] How times flies ! But time and tide wait for no man. There are twenty minutes left. I was wondering whether I was not going die before midnight. I was tired and the ropes binding me were choking me. I could not breathe any more. I wanted to finish with my life. Moreover, I was thinking that what would happen when the two men came back. My head overflowed questions.
[...] He did not lost time althrough that he loocked sometimes his paper, checked the address and then sat off again as fast as possible.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-12-2014 16:35
Message de lila1234 posté le 23-12-2014 à 16:19:17 (S | E | F)
Hello,
J'aurrais besoin de votre aide pour corriger cet extrait de texte, un peu dans le style d'un polar...
Comme mon texte est loin d'être du Agatha Christie
pourriez-vous me donner vos appréciation sur le texte et des remarques sur les temps... Merci d'avance.
I was still tying me up in this room and I was still waiting. It was horrible. Suddenly a man entered in the room. He was quiet tall and he was wearing dark clothes. I tryed to do not move. I was breathness. He was moving towards me when his cellphone rang. He picked up the phone. His deep voice was resounding in the room. I turned pale when I heard him day : "Yes sir, this will be done at midnight." I understood immediately what did it mean. At midnight, I would not be in this world any more. He put his phone on his pocket and left the room with a smile on his face.
[...] Peter thought about it during all morning when the cough medicine and the knife that Jenny had let him came to his mind. He understood that it was clues and Jenny knew her fate. What remains for him to do was find how exploit this clues.
[...] How times flies ! But time and tide wait for no man. There are twenty minutes left. I was wondering whether I was not going die before midnight. I was tired and the ropes binding me were choking me. I could not breathe any more. I wanted to finish with my life. Moreover, I was thinking that what would happen when the two men came back. My head overflowed questions.
[...] He did not lost time althrough that he loocked sometimes his paper, checked the address and then sat off again as fast as possible.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-12-2014 16:35
Réponse: Correction/extrait polar de notrepere, postée le 23-12-2014 à 18:36:41 (S | E)
BonjourEn premier...
I was still tying(1)
He picked up the phone. His deep voice was resounding in the room. I turned pale when I heard him day : "Yes sir, this will be done at midnight." I understood immediately what did it mean(5). At midnight, I would not be in this world any more. He put his phone on his pocket and left the room with a smile on his face.(1) preterite
(2) orthographe
(3) ordre des mots/do inutile
(4) ce mot n'existe pas/out of breath
(5) it meant/did it mean est employé pour former une question
Réponse: Correction/extrait polar de lila1234, postée le 23-12-2014 à 20:35:32 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Un grand merci pour ton aide. Je vais essayer de corriger cette première partie le mieux que je peux !
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