CV /Australie

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CV /Australie
Message de gusih posté le 24-05-2016 à 19:48:45 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je pars bientôt en Australie et j'ai donc préparé mon CV ou "resume" en australien/anglais. J'aurais voulu savoir si quelqu'un aurait pu le regarder afin de savoir ce qui ne va pas.
Merci d'avance à vous.

CONTACT DETAILS
Name: XXXXXXX
Address: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Email: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Visa: Working Holiday Visa, expires 08/07....
Nationality : French
DEMONSTRATIVE SKILLS
• Many experience in the field of agriculture
• Agricultural machine operator (harvest, tractor, trailer, seeder, sprayer…)
• Work well in team
• Punctual, efficient and courteous
• Always willing to demonstrate the best customer service skills
• Competence in agricultural mechanics
• Impassioned by the profession
• Very independent and able to make decisions quickly
• Efficient and accurate at work, I 'm a maniac

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
o May 2015 – June 2016
 xxx compagny farm
Apprentice in a farm (in schools of optention a degree in agronomy and crop production)
 Product vegetable and cereal
 Product chicken
I work mainly on crops. I realize followed crop and field work (plow, sowing, spraying, harvesting, manure...)
I made the maintenance of farm equipment and poultry building.
o July 2015
 xxx compagny (in Romania)
In school I went to work in Romania. For a month I harvested grains, conduct a tractor with a seeder.
If I travel to the envi to go abroad, that is why I came in Australia.
o Weekend (2013 - 2014 – 2015 – 2016)
Several weekends a year I make work in farm (milking cow, field work ...)
o October 2014 – April 2015
 xxx compagny
Apprentice in a agricultural cooperative (in schools of optention a degree in agronomy and crop production)
 I work in a special crop production service
 I provides consulting on crops
o August 2014 – September 2014
 xxx compagny
I drive harvester special for the bean. I drive a BCMH 8100. I teamwork either day or night.
o July 2014
 xxx compagny farm
I drive harvester for cereal harvest season. I drive a CX 840 New holland.
I drive a tractor for a press straw.

o May – June 2013 and March 2014
 xxx compagny farm
I working on that farm 3 months. They are training for my farm study. I work primarily crop.Second word is management of dairy farming.
o May 2014
 xxx compagny farm
I work in a crop service.I executed the making soil for a seed corn. I realised the seed corn.

Education and training qualifications
 2016 : higher national certificate in agronomy and crop production.
 In xxx (France)
 2014 : vocational high school diploma in management in farm.
 In xxx (France)
 2012 : vocational training in dairy farming

Hobbies and interests
 I very like a play football and running trails. I am captain of my football team
 I am very passionate for agricultural machinery and I am very passionate for agricultural machinery.
 I love you travel and discover new way of living, of new people.
 I practice winter skiing in France
 One of my main hobby is DIY.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-05-2016 22:19

Réponse: CV /Australie de delf2312, postée le 29-05-2016 à 12:42:15 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je vous souhaite tout d'abord de profiter un maximum de cette expérience en Australie (j'aimerais tellement être à votre place)

DEMONSTRATIVE SKILLS
• Many experience (many entraîne un pluriel et on ne peut pas mettre experience au pluriel, c'est un indénombrable, donc je dirais different kinds of experience ou bien tout simplement : strong/good/solid experience) in the field of agriculture
• Agricultural machine operator (harvest, tractor, trailer, seeder, sprayer…)
• Work well in team
• Punctual, efficient and courteous
• Always willing to demonstrate the best customer service skills
• Competence (competence est un nom et vous avez utilisé des adjectifs pour presque tous les deux autres, j'aurais donc dit competent with) in agricultural mechanics
• Impassioned by the profession
• Very independent and able to make decisions quickly
• Efficient and accurate at work, I 'm a maniac (maniac n'est pas tout à fait équivalent de notre "maniaque" français, ça veut dire "fou". Je pense que ce que vous voulez dire est "I give a very close attention to details")

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
o May 2015 – June 2016
 xxx compagny farm
Apprentice in a farm (in schools of ~~optention a degree in~~ agronomy and crop production)
 Product vegetable and cereal (je ne comprends pas vraiment ce que cela veut dire)
 Product chicken (idem)
I work mainly on crops. I realize followed crop and field work (plow, sowing, spraying, harvesting, manure...)
I made the maintenance of farm equipment and poultry building.
o July 2015
 xxx compagny (in Romania)
In With my school ?school I went to work in Romania. For a month I harvested grains, conduct (drove ?) a tractor with a seeder.
If I travel to the envi to go abroad,(je ne comprends pas vraiment) that is why I came in Australia.(êtes vous déjà en Australie ? Sinon il faut dire "go")
o Weekend (2013 - 2014 – 2015 – 2016)
Several weekends a year I ~~make~~ worked in farm (milking cow, field work ...)
o October 2014 – April 2015
 xxx compagny
Apprentice in an agricultural cooperative (in schools of optention a degree in agronomy and crop production)
 I worked in a special crop production service
 I provided consulting on crops
o August 2014 – September 2014
 xxx compagny
I ~~drive~~ drove harvester special (ADj= avant le nom en anglais) for the bean. I drive! a BCMH 8100. I teamwork (pas sûre que teamwork puisse être un verbe > I was in teamwork / I did) either day or night.
o July 2014
 xxx compagny farm
I drive! harvester for cereal harvest season. I drive! a CX 840 New holland.
I drive! a tractor for a press straw.

o May – June 2013 and March 2014
 xxx compagny farm
I work~~ing~~ed on that farm during 3 months. They are training for my farm study (mal dit). I worked primarily crop.Second word is management of dairy farming.
o May 2014
 xxx compagny farm
I worked in a crop service.I executed the making soil for a seed corn. I realised the seed corn.

Education and training qualifications
 2016 : higher national certificate in agronomy and crop production.
 In xxx (France)
 2014 : vocational high school diploma in management in farm.
 In xxx (France)
 2012 : vocational training in dairy farming
Lien internet
D'après cet article wikipedia, on dirait plutôt trade school en Australie (il me semble, j'ai lu très rapidement)

Hobbies and interests
 I very like a play football and running trails. (I like TO play / I like playING football very much) I am captain of my football team
 I am very passionate ~~for~~ about agricultural machinery and I am very passionate ~~for~~about agricultural machinery. (doublement passioné par les machines donc ? ;)
 I love you ? travel and discover new way of living(lifestyles?), meeting of new people.
 I practice winter skiing in France
 One of my main hobbyies is DIY.

Voilà, j'espère vous aider à concrétiser votre projet. Ceci, je ne suis pas une experte en CV, mais il me semble qu'il y a vraiment beaucoup de choses sur le votre... Or, on m'a dit qu'il fallait être le plus concis possible.
Bye !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 29-05-2016 17:39
Pas de rouge sur les forums, merci.

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