Places and forms of power/aide
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Message de cam64 posté le 22-04-2017 à 12:59:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'aimerais un avis sur ma préparation au Bac oral d'anglais s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance !
PLACES AND FORMS OF POWER
I’m going to talk about the notion « Places and Forms of Power »
First of all, I want to define this notion : In politics and social science, power is the ability to influence the behavior of people. In order to live together members of a community accept rules, regulations, laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can also lead to conflicts and tensions.
I will focus on the American dream : What is the power of America in Mexican immigration ?
First, I will say that the American Dream is characterized by the idea of an America full of promises and very attractive.
The text named “Facing Reality”, from the book Texas of James Michener, illustrate the very dangerous aspect of the US-Border. Twenty illegal immigrants want to cross the border. So, they pay smugglers to be transported. Them who wanted to earn a lot effortlessly simulate a breakdown to abandon immigrants in the desert. Left to their own devices, without water, all Mexicans die. This text reveals that migrants are ready to start a new life in America by all means. Even if the trip is perilous or fatal, Mexican try to cross the border. Even if, danger lurks them, immigrants are always attract by America.
The second document is an extract from the book The Tortilla Curtain by T.C Boyle. The two characters are illegal Mexican immigrants, América and Candido. América was given an address for a job in Los Angeles. She would climb up the rungs of the social ladder and become well-off contrary to his current life. But when she tries to find this job of sewing, separate of Candido, reality dawned on her: it doesn’t exist. She is desperate. At last, after walking all day, scared, hungry and thirsty, she found Candido dead, lying on the ground. This story debunks the myth of American Dream because all the troubles come down on her: she is an undocumented alien, a foreigner in an unknown country. United States has abandon her and his friend.
The last document focus on the welcome of Mexicans immigrants in United States. It is a cartoon which represent the uneasy and often tense relationship between America and its immigrants. The hand of Uncle Sam is inviting a Mexican into the US but there is a wall separating them. However, Mexican not knowing what to expect under his wall. I think that is cartoon is critical in that it shows the hypocrisy of some American’s attitude to immigrants. Uncle Sam is extending a hand to welcome the Mexican man, promising jobs and riches but says nothing of the discrimination and hardships they will face once they arrive.
To conclude we can say that America is a place which attract immigrants and reflect a image of a country full of promises, riches etc … But some Americans have a contempt attitude to migrants and today, America government reach to decrease their flow. Personally, I think that immigration is a good thing to develop a country economic.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2017 15:10
Message de cam64 posté le 22-04-2017 à 12:59:29 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'aimerais un avis sur ma préparation au Bac oral d'anglais s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance !
PLACES AND FORMS OF POWER
I’m going to talk about the notion « Places and Forms of Power »
First of all, I want to define this notion : In politics and social science, power is the ability to influence the behavior of people. In order to live together members of a community accept rules, regulations, laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can also lead to conflicts and tensions.
I will focus on the American dream : What is the power of America in Mexican immigration ?
First, I will say that the American Dream is characterized by the idea of an America full of promises and very attractive.
The text named “Facing Reality”, from the book Texas of James Michener, illustrate the very dangerous aspect of the US-Border. Twenty illegal immigrants want to cross the border. So, they pay smugglers to be transported. Them who wanted to earn a lot effortlessly simulate a breakdown to abandon immigrants in the desert. Left to their own devices, without water, all Mexicans die. This text reveals that migrants are ready to start a new life in America by all means. Even if the trip is perilous or fatal, Mexican try to cross the border. Even if, danger lurks them, immigrants are always attract by America.
The second document is an extract from the book The Tortilla Curtain by T.C Boyle. The two characters are illegal Mexican immigrants, América and Candido. América was given an address for a job in Los Angeles. She would climb up the rungs of the social ladder and become well-off contrary to his current life. But when she tries to find this job of sewing, separate of Candido, reality dawned on her: it doesn’t exist. She is desperate. At last, after walking all day, scared, hungry and thirsty, she found Candido dead, lying on the ground. This story debunks the myth of American Dream because all the troubles come down on her: she is an undocumented alien, a foreigner in an unknown country. United States has abandon her and his friend.
The last document focus on the welcome of Mexicans immigrants in United States. It is a cartoon which represent the uneasy and often tense relationship between America and its immigrants. The hand of Uncle Sam is inviting a Mexican into the US but there is a wall separating them. However, Mexican not knowing what to expect under his wall. I think that is cartoon is critical in that it shows the hypocrisy of some American’s attitude to immigrants. Uncle Sam is extending a hand to welcome the Mexican man, promising jobs and riches but says nothing of the discrimination and hardships they will face once they arrive.
To conclude we can say that America is a place which attract immigrants and reflect a image of a country full of promises, riches etc … But some Americans have a contempt attitude to migrants and today, America government reach to decrease their flow. Personally, I think that immigration is a good thing to develop a country economic.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2017 15:10
Réponse : Places and forms of power/aide de kazwell, postée le 22-04-2017 à 17:05:41 (S | E)
Hello,
J'ai quelques remarques à faire :
~Quand tu fais une liste , il vaut mieux finir par and par ex : i like bacon,turkey and pizza et non pas i like bacon,turkey,pizza.
~la formulation "the ....of....." , par ex, au lieu de : The essay of Cam64 on dit "Cam64's essay".
~Tu as besoin d'une bonne transition pour montrer en quoi ton introduction est pertinente à ta problématique.
~"Them who wanted" très faux , même en anglais parlé personne ne dit ça....à reformuler.
~"Left to their own devices" reformule ça , ça pue google traduction.
~"....
~"Separate of Candido" , tu veux dire quoi par là? Séparé ?Contrairement à?
~Plein de fois tu oublie le the devant tes mots "the USA" , "the American Dream...." , quand c'est quelque chose de spécifique tu met toujours "the" , à part devant des noms propres , et devant des pays "
~"....Mexican try to cross the border" à reformuler.
~Bon , ça c'est juste mon opinion mais je crois que "Even if, danger lurks them, immigrants are always attract by America." est répétitive , vu que tu as déjà transmis cette idée avant.
~"United States has abandon her and his friend." Quand tu le formules comme ça , tu présente ceci comme un fait , ce qui ne l'est pas.
~"..on the welcome of Mexicans.." , le mot welcome signifie bienvenue , un mot qui est donc mélioratif et non péjoratif comme tu veux l'aborder par la suite.
~"between America and its immigrants" , entre un pays et des gens? C'est comme si je disais que je me suis battu avec Paris , et non avec un parisien , tu vois le problème?
~Revois toute la partie sur Uncle Sam, ton idée est très mal exprimée.
~"contempt attitude" , le mot comtempt n'est pas un adjectif.
~"America government reach to decrease their flow" , bien que je vois ce que tu veux dire , il faut une reformulation ici aussi, pour plus de clarté.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-04-2017 17:23
Réponse : Places and forms of power/aide de cam64, postée le 23-04-2017 à 12:18:43 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour les rectifications, et je voulais dire "séparée de Candido".
Réponse : Places and forms of power/aide de kazwell, postée le 23-04-2017 à 12:46:31 (S | E)
Donc utilise separated from Candido ou une autre expression si tu trouves mieux
Réponse : Places and forms of power/aide de cam64, postée le 23-04-2017 à 13:10:50 (S | E)
Ok merci, et est-ce que je peux dire "a scornful attitude" ?
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